Monday, August 18, 2014

growth // reflections

It's so funny to me how many people ask me questions about or comment on my hair.  If they only knew what a huge pain in the butt it is! People touch (more like pull on it) it on a weekly basis, I wish I was kidding. All throughout my childhood it was the absolute bane of my existence. I was teased left and right and bullied for having thick, curly hair. I cried on the school bus every morning. I was different. I was this tiny, skinny little kid with an enormous amount of curly hair. Insert images of the little girl from Brave here. I think I kept my hair up in a ponytail for most of my elementary years. My mom tried styling it, cutting it in so many different ways and still I'd get teased. It's taken me years, and I mean it, to finally let my hair grow and lay however it naturally wants. I think what happened was I just had to grow into it, embrace it. I just hope if I ever have a daughter that she takes after her father...   
 & also, another song I haven't been able to stop listening to all summer.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

there really is no place like home // thoughts

It's become more and more clear that the city that I currently call home is really no longer home to me at all. Seattle, you've been kind to me. You've offered me a lovely place to hide out and pull myself together once again. You've taught me how to be independent & strong. Unfortunately, I have not felt truly myself since I left my true home, Pennsylvania. I don't know when exactly it happened, but it occurred to me the last time I was back home in March. I rushed home to see my grandfather who was battling cancer and was rapidly slipping away from us.  I miss the air, the countryside, the sunrises, the people, the history, my loved ones... and the food. My grandfather had seen the world, twice over, and had the means to live anywhere he'd wish and he still felt fondly of where he grew up and lived there all his life. If that's not an endorsement, I don't know what is. 
So that's plan, I need to be back on the east coast. Where everything, every one is within driving distance. I will live out the last months of my current lease, finish my degree and move home. Seattle, I've given you six years, and you still don't even compare. I still long for home. I'm thinking Philadelphia or even Chicago (where I'll most likely find work and is quickly becoming my second home) by next summer. All that I know is this time, this move is going to be for me
                            "Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration." - Charles Dickens 

Monday, August 11, 2014

overexposed, underdeveloped // reflections

My camera is fixed! Finally. I feel like I've reconnected with a part of my soul. It was odd not carrying it in my purse with me anymore, using my phone to take photographs. There have been so many missed photo opportunities. 
One of my fondest memories of my father is when he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. He, my brother and I spent the morning watching the sunrise on Rye beach in New Hampshire. My father and I were both taking photographs. Me with my little disposable camera and he with his beautiful Olympus. I had always been in such awe of that camera. And my father looked so cool using it. We came home had breakfast, and my brother started talking about how he wanted to be an archeologist. My dad then asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I ran to the bathroom crying and shut the door, I was too embarrassed. He came in after me and asked me again, I said, "a photographer" he laughed and said, "That's wonderful! But why are you crying?" I said, "Girls aren't photographers..." he then said, "Little bit, you can be whoever, whatever you want. Never let being a girl stop you." We shared a love for photography, it brought us closer. We would take trips together and photograph every thing we found beautiful, usually it was the same things. He'd surprise me with a new camera every so often, making sure I didn't give up on my dream.  I'm such a lucky girl to have had such a supportive and loving father. He never discouraged me. Thanks, Dad.

& I cannot stop listening to this cover. It's pretty perfect.